This is what I asked: anyone who has been married for 10+ years, and is still happy in their relationship . . . what lessons would you pass down to others if you could? What is working for you and your partner? Also, to people who are divorced, what didn’t work previously?
The response was overwhelming. Almost 1,500 people got back to me, many of whom sent replies measured in pages, not paragraphs. It took weeks to comb through them all, but what I found stunned me.
For a start, they were all incredibly repetitive.
That’s not an insult–actually, it’s the opposite, not to mention, a relief. The answers came from smart and well-spoken people from all walks of life, from around the world, each with their own histories, tragedies, mistakes, and triumphs . . . and yet they were all saying pretty much the same dozen things.
Take it easy. ...
Give 90% ...
You are responsible for your own happiness. ...
Stop waiting and live your life. ...
Love yourself. ...
Don't put boundaries on others. ...
Sometimes love is where you'd least expect it. ...
Put in some effort.
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