There’s never a bad time to have sex, but science says it’s especially fun to mess around in the morning. How come?
For starters, you naturally build up testosterone overnight, which boosts your coital instincts in the A.M., says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., a sex and relationship therapist and author ofGetting the Sex You Want. You also have higher levels of vasopressin, a hormone that helps give you feelings of emotional attachment. Couple that with an erect penis, “and you may feel closer and more attached to your significant other in the morning,” Nelson says.
But the groggy woman waking up next to you isn’t as psyched to shag at sunrise. “A morning orgasm can be difficult if not totally elusive for some women because in order to reach full levels of arousal, a woman has to be relaxed about her physical cleanliness,” says Nelson.
That’s tough after 8 hours of sleeping like a slob. She hasn’t showered, brushed her teeth, or switched out of her pajamas yet, which triggers stress that prevents her from relaxing enough to enjoy sex, says Nelson. Plus, if your partner hasn’t peed yet, “the same muscles necessary to stop urinary flow are the muscles that control orgasm,” she says.
If you do convince her to have a quickie before coffee, follow these steps to satisfy her:
1. Spend time cuddling.
Start the process slowly. “Hold her and use close physical time before you make any overt sexual move,” Nelson advises. “From there you can work up to touching her breasts or genitals, stroking her arms and hair, and really helping her relax.” This process releases the hormone oxytocin, which helps her feel connected to you. If she senses that you’re rushing her and she’s not in the mood, you’ve blown your shot.
2. Lay the compliments on heavy.
The dirty talk you sling in the evening won’t work at 7 A.M. Instead, tell her how sexy she looks wearing nothing but a nightshirt. “These things will override her tendency to feel insecure in the morning,” says Nelson.
3. Switch up your position.
If you’re both repulsed by morning breath, avoid positions that call for mouth-to-mouth, like missionary, says sexologist Megan Stubbs. Flip her around and try doggy, or spoon her to steer clear of any nasty stench. That way, she can enjoy the act at hand—and avoid holding her breath in horror.
