Around four years ago, Prof. David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center, coined the term “juvenoia” — mixing ‘juvenile’ and ‘paranoia’ — to define what he called “the exaggerated fear of the influence of social change (including the Internet) on youth”. According to him, while it can’t be denied that Internet has dangers on it, it wouldn’t be right to say it increases dangers. His argument has been “when kids go online, bad things can happen, because they can happen anywhere…”
“For some reasons, we have this mental firewall, which is very artificial and inaccurate, between physical space and digital space. We need to collapse that firewall and have all the same social norms in the digital space as we have in the physical space,” she says. Anne lists empathy, resilience, respect for yourself and others, an inner guidance system and literacy — digital, social and media — as the internal safeguards that come into the picture here. While risks do exist in the virtual world, harassment and cyberbullying being the most common, research has found that not all children or teens are equally at risk and no single technology can end these online risks, says Anne. A child’s psychosocial makeup and the environments at home or school are better predictors of online risk than the technology he or she uses, she says. “The number one online safety tip for parents is to talk to your kids… ask them what’s their favourite app these days, tell them to show you how they set their privacy settings in the apps and on the devices. Another thing parents can do is let older siblings help the younger ones. Sometimes, children don’t want to tell their parents what they are doing online, but they can talk to an aunt/uncle who is kind of a cool relative, who looks after you but isn’t very heavy handed, and you just trust her/him. That’s a good option for parents. So, it’s more of humanity than technology, because it’s social media,” says Anne. In the Indian context, says Anne, schools and society have to open up more to digital literacy. Unlike in the US, Australia, and European countries, India does not have a social media research field. Looking at the growing use of Internet among the young population (9 to 16 years), the country needs research on digital media in order to make policy decisions at school level, the government level and also at the family level, feels Anne. “You need facts, don’t just spread fear. Fear shuts down communication. The news media has got to be responsible about not spreading fear about digital media. Because it does a whole lot of disservice to parents… and it’s highly disrespectful to children,” she says. With a lot of research going on in several countries, those who do not have a robust valid research can always look at what’s going on in those countries, says Anne. “There is a lot of great knowledge out there that India can tap into as it develops its research fields… But India needs to do its own research too. You are massive, and you have multiple cultures. It will be fascinating to see what is happening in different parts of India in terms of digital media,” says Anne. Anne, who was in India to address a CBSE principals’ conference on organised by Facebook in Kochi recently, says schools haven’t focused on digital literacy much yet. Explaining Internet safety, she says there are various aspects of it — physical (physical harm), psychological (social cruelty, harassment, bullying, exposure to potentially harmful content), reputation and identity (harm to identity, reputation, public image) and property (theft of intellectual, digital, financial and physical property). Though cyberbullying, digital harassment, Internet defamation and online cruelty are a reality, Anne says several online groups are active to counter these — #iCANHELP Delete Negativity on Social Media for example. The campaign was initially started by a group of students in California after a fake Facebook page was created to poke fun at a teacher. The group wanted to bring a wave of change through positive messages. So, when a girl found a hate page on her online, the ‘Positive Warriors’ of #iCANHELP intervened and got the page removed, before creating a fan page for her to let her know she is not alone. #iCANHELP is now spreading and active on Facebook and Twitter. “See, a vast majority of people in this world are good, they don’t want to see these kind of behaviour… Unfortunately, there are a few sociopaths online who ruin things for a lot of people. They are marginalising themselves, but it’s just that it hasn’t kicked in yet…” says Anne. To protect teens, Facebook has taken care to see each account is opened using real names and authentic identities — the logic being real names make people accountable for their actions. It is against Facebook terms for anyone under the age of 13 to have an account. “We aggressively find and remove fake profiles…We prioritise reports — when people are hurt or in danger, those are highest priority,” says a Facebook spokesperson in India. The social networking site has also rolled out ‘social reporting’, which allows teens to notify a parent or a teacher about a potentially abusive content at the same time they notify Facebook. Teens, social media and digital parenting Understand their world: For teens, social media is an extension of life — something adults haven’t really been able to accept yet. Just as they interact with friends in school or on the playground, teens will be interacting online. They don’t differentiate between online and offline life. For teens, it’s just life. Show respect: According to Rosalind Wiseman, an international expert on children, teens and parenting, it’s important to show teens a level of respect as they create a space online that allows them to communicate and express themselves. A parent must monitor their activities but should understand it’s not the place to correct their grammar or criticise their choice of clothes, which may embarrass them. Talk: It’s important to keep a communication line open with your kids as they grow up. Ask them what they like to do online and learn about new and fun apps and websites. Be open and put across your point clearly, but don’t be judgemental all the time. If you find anything inappropriate in their online behaviour, mention it to them offline. Catch up: You may need to be one step ahead of them to be able to understand your children’s online behaviour. In case you think you can’t quite follow them, don’t hesitate to educate yourself. There are several search engines for you to get all the knowledge you want. It’s important to know the age restrictions on different social networking sites and use the guidelines for the networks they use. At Facebook, underage activity can be reported, which is reviewed and requisite action taken. In case of younger children, parental controls are a must. Most of the apps, devices and gadgets come with parental controls so that you can manage your child’s online activities. Set time limits and ensure your child develops right online etiquette. As your child gets older, you can start becoming flexible. Be the guiding light: Stay informed about the websites young people are visiting, activities they are engaging in and the latest online challenges facing them. One of the best pieces of advice to give a teen is to think before they post. It’s important for them to know that anything they post online — Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other platform — can be copied and shared immediately. So even if they eventually delete the post, the damage will be done by then. It’s key to talk to teens about privacy settings and the information they share online. And last but not the least, it’s also important to tell them to have some tech-free time once in a while for a balanced life.
“For some reasons, we have this mental firewall, which is very artificial and inaccurate, between physical space and digital space. We need to collapse that firewall and have all the same social norms in the digital space as we have in the physical space,” she says. Anne lists empathy, resilience, respect for yourself and others, an inner guidance system and literacy — digital, social and media — as the internal safeguards that come into the picture here. While risks do exist in the virtual world, harassment and cyberbullying being the most common, research has found that not all children or teens are equally at risk and no single technology can end these online risks, says Anne. A child’s psychosocial makeup and the environments at home or school are better predictors of online risk than the technology he or she uses, she says. “The number one online safety tip for parents is to talk to your kids… ask them what’s their favourite app these days, tell them to show you how they set their privacy settings in the apps and on the devices. Another thing parents can do is let older siblings help the younger ones. Sometimes, children don’t want to tell their parents what they are doing online, but they can talk to an aunt/uncle who is kind of a cool relative, who looks after you but isn’t very heavy handed, and you just trust her/him. That’s a good option for parents. So, it’s more of humanity than technology, because it’s social media,” says Anne. In the Indian context, says Anne, schools and society have to open up more to digital literacy. Unlike in the US, Australia, and European countries, India does not have a social media research field. Looking at the growing use of Internet among the young population (9 to 16 years), the country needs research on digital media in order to make policy decisions at school level, the government level and also at the family level, feels Anne. “You need facts, don’t just spread fear. Fear shuts down communication. The news media has got to be responsible about not spreading fear about digital media. Because it does a whole lot of disservice to parents… and it’s highly disrespectful to children,” she says. With a lot of research going on in several countries, those who do not have a robust valid research can always look at what’s going on in those countries, says Anne. “There is a lot of great knowledge out there that India can tap into as it develops its research fields… But India needs to do its own research too. You are massive, and you have multiple cultures. It will be fascinating to see what is happening in different parts of India in terms of digital media,” says Anne. Anne, who was in India to address a CBSE principals’ conference on organised by Facebook in Kochi recently, says schools haven’t focused on digital literacy much yet. Explaining Internet safety, she says there are various aspects of it — physical (physical harm), psychological (social cruelty, harassment, bullying, exposure to potentially harmful content), reputation and identity (harm to identity, reputation, public image) and property (theft of intellectual, digital, financial and physical property). Though cyberbullying, digital harassment, Internet defamation and online cruelty are a reality, Anne says several online groups are active to counter these — #iCANHELP Delete Negativity on Social Media for example. The campaign was initially started by a group of students in California after a fake Facebook page was created to poke fun at a teacher. The group wanted to bring a wave of change through positive messages. So, when a girl found a hate page on her online, the ‘Positive Warriors’ of #iCANHELP intervened and got the page removed, before creating a fan page for her to let her know she is not alone. #iCANHELP is now spreading and active on Facebook and Twitter. “See, a vast majority of people in this world are good, they don’t want to see these kind of behaviour… Unfortunately, there are a few sociopaths online who ruin things for a lot of people. They are marginalising themselves, but it’s just that it hasn’t kicked in yet…” says Anne. To protect teens, Facebook has taken care to see each account is opened using real names and authentic identities — the logic being real names make people accountable for their actions. It is against Facebook terms for anyone under the age of 13 to have an account. “We aggressively find and remove fake profiles…We prioritise reports — when people are hurt or in danger, those are highest priority,” says a Facebook spokesperson in India. The social networking site has also rolled out ‘social reporting’, which allows teens to notify a parent or a teacher about a potentially abusive content at the same time they notify Facebook. Teens, social media and digital parenting Understand their world: For teens, social media is an extension of life — something adults haven’t really been able to accept yet. Just as they interact with friends in school or on the playground, teens will be interacting online. They don’t differentiate between online and offline life. For teens, it’s just life. Show respect: According to Rosalind Wiseman, an international expert on children, teens and parenting, it’s important to show teens a level of respect as they create a space online that allows them to communicate and express themselves. A parent must monitor their activities but should understand it’s not the place to correct their grammar or criticise their choice of clothes, which may embarrass them. Talk: It’s important to keep a communication line open with your kids as they grow up. Ask them what they like to do online and learn about new and fun apps and websites. Be open and put across your point clearly, but don’t be judgemental all the time. If you find anything inappropriate in their online behaviour, mention it to them offline. Catch up: You may need to be one step ahead of them to be able to understand your children’s online behaviour. In case you think you can’t quite follow them, don’t hesitate to educate yourself. There are several search engines for you to get all the knowledge you want. It’s important to know the age restrictions on different social networking sites and use the guidelines for the networks they use. At Facebook, underage activity can be reported, which is reviewed and requisite action taken. In case of younger children, parental controls are a must. Most of the apps, devices and gadgets come with parental controls so that you can manage your child’s online activities. Set time limits and ensure your child develops right online etiquette. As your child gets older, you can start becoming flexible. Be the guiding light: Stay informed about the websites young people are visiting, activities they are engaging in and the latest online challenges facing them. One of the best pieces of advice to give a teen is to think before they post. It’s important for them to know that anything they post online — Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other platform — can be copied and shared immediately. So even if they eventually delete the post, the damage will be done by then. It’s key to talk to teens about privacy settings and the information they share online. And last but not the least, it’s also important to tell them to have some tech-free time once in a while for a balanced life.
