SD and I have been friends for more than five years. We have been in a relationship for two years. We are such unfortunate souls that all those years have been long-distance. Luckily, we made it work. So I can proudly say that I am an expert at long distance relationships.
So this post is for those couples in long distance relationships. Only SD can give the guy’s perspective so this post is mostly for the girls…
You have problems? You are depressed? You are elated? Talk to him. Tell him. Share it with him. Do it over the phone. Do it over the internet. Or do it the good-old way using hand-written letters. If you have do not share enough with each other, then you are digging a grave for your relationship. It need not be 24×7 constant talking/chatting like how SD and I do mostly rarely. It can just be one hour or thirty minutes each day. But fill it with all the love in the world and tell him everything you want to tell. And listen to everything he has to say. Sharing has to be two way. If you do all the talking and he doesn’t tell you a thing, then it means something is wrong.
Quit whining. Right now. Even when you are in a normal relationship, whining can get very very irritating. At least the boy can distract you with make-outs. In a long distance relationship he can’t do that too. He just has to listen to you. And if you go on whining about how he never gives you time, about how busy he is always, about why you think he doesn’t love you anymore like he used to… you will not have to go through the pains of long distance relationship anymore. In fact, you will not have to go through the pains of a relationship. You get it? Whining is a deal breaker.
Be intelligent. Even when you do not talk all the time, you should know his schedule/routine. You should be able to understand when he is in office, when is at home and when he is out with friends. SD tells me that many of his friends who are long distance relationships two-time easily. There can be only two reasons why this happens… either the other one in the couple is dumb or naïve. Or the other one in the couple is also happily two-timing that he/she doesn’t care.
Trust blindly and follow your instinct. This is a magical combination is long distance relationships. You are not there with him. You have to go by what he is saying. So trust him with all your heart. But when your instinct says something is going wrong, then immediately act on it. Do not ignore your instinct and continue trusting. If you do… then you are unintentionally watching the ship sink and not running for a life-boat. That is pretty stupid, isnt’t it?
Keep the boy happy. You do know how much physical stuff matters for boys, don’t you? It is sad that he is away with no action. So compensate in every way you can. Send photos, lots of it. And no, it is not your face that they want to look at always. Do crazy stuff in video chats. Keep showing him what is waiting. Keep showing him what is his.
Send gifts. Irrespective of the distance, send gifts for him. If the courier charge is high, then save up and send. It matters. You are not there. But when your gift reaches him, he will feel your presence.
Don’t be sad that is a long distance relationship. A relationship is what you make of it. It can be delightful if you put in the lots effort. Nothing good ever comes easy. Long distance relationship is no exception. Love with all your heart and cherish him with all your being. If this is the real deal, then you are going to be with each other forever. So be happy!
Love,
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